100+ Best Fat jokes - jokesboy

Want to burn your fat in a funny way, so we are here with best fat jokes.

These fat jokes will have you laughing so hard that you might even burn a few fats. Read, laugh and Burn your fat.


Fat Jokes


Best Fat Jokes


1. Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat    once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

2. Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

3. Fat shaming is wrong.
They have enough on their plate already

4. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

5. I would make a joke about how yo mama so fat...
But we shouldn't talk about the elephant in the room.

6. Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead

7. My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

8. Why do the Japanese hate Christmas???
Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

9. Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don’t pick it up.

10. What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

11. When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

12. How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake

13. What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get Fat.

14. What? were you expecting a pi joke?

15. I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford. Fat, mean and probably inbred.

16. What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic

17. What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?

18. Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.”

19. What do you call a fat chinese man
A double chinkey

20. SCOOT WANT TAXI! Ok, maybe I do but can’t make it there because yo mama is so fat he can’t hear me on the other side.

21. Your so dam fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.

22. what do fat demons hate, exorcise

23. A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them, the fat person just has to lean slightly and its 911 all over again.

24. Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 big macs

25. when i went to the doctors he pulled his wife in, and said what do you see? I replied a fat bitch he said ok your eyesight is perfect.

26. The fat kid asked the teacher “is godzilla real” the teacher said “they’re standing right infront of me”

27. What is a fat boy’s favorite karate move?
A pork chop

28. Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals

29. where did sally go during the bombing, EVERYWHERE. your mama is so fat, that when she was playing online, SHE CRASHED THE WHOLE SERVER.

30. what did the cow say to the fat pig? moooooooove over


Funny Fat Jokes


1. What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson

2. Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

3. what do you say to a fat Asian? 
you got more chins then a Chinese phone book

4. Life is like a box of chocolate, it doesn’t last long if you’re fat

5. You’re so fat astronomers discovered a planet larger than earth but smaller than Uranus

6. Americans are so fat they named a atom bomb called fat man to describe themselves.

7. your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

8. You so fat you could sell shade!

9. You just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

10. Why did God create gay men? 
So fat girls could dance.

11. The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with " i need your weight not your phone number"

12. what do you call a fat fortune teller? 
a fourchin teller.

13. I keep getting ads about belly fat

14. I know five fat people and you’re three of them

15. Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

16. What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow

17. bully: you are ugly me: you are so fat you are the call of duty map

18. I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen it’s only people who are skinny but the fat people can’t have none all they do is suck it up like a lollipop.

19. What did the indian say to the fat man?
Curry up!

20. I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.


Awesome Fat Jokes 


1. Why is Santa so fat? He only comes once a year

2. My sis a fat cow

3. Salmon Rushdie got a new book out. It’s called “Buddha. You Fat Cunt.”

4. Why is Japan the healthiest country?
The last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

5. What do big fat Male cows have?
MOOBS

6. whats fat and wanks over his mom? guy sheppard

7. Teacher: What does a chicken give you? Student: an egg! Teacher: What does a fat cow give you? Student: homework!

8. What did a fat cow give you?
Homework

9. A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What’s the third?
Yu.

10. What do you call a grey, fat and very old unicorn? A rhino

11. What’s fat brown and has no dad
Ama

12. Ku cina Na xidludla swifana no push refrigerator

13. Me: Know one likes shrek he is just a fat green guy friend hey stop talking about me

14. Aliana so fat she can’t fit throw a hola hop.

15. What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class.
“You could do with Ramadan lasting all year couldn’t you”


Fat Jokes for Adults


1. Dude- ABC what comes next
Kid-a big fat noob

2. I’m just happy no idiots are calling these people fat phobic

3. You are the reason double doors were invented

4. Your fat. Don’t sugar coat it because you would probably eat that to.

5. Hey fatboy why are you so damn fat? Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie

6. because all I do is pound it man I would put you on my 600 pound life if you didnt weigh a 1,000

7. Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

8. what do you call steven hawkings when he eats to much? as fat as ben dingley

9. What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid, jimmy is fat

10. why do indian men prefer fat women?
Because they worship cows


Fat Jokes for Kids

1. yo mamma so fat she made up of a lot of atoms

2. Yo Mama so fat that when she took a photo of herself to get it printed out it took 15 years to finish

3. Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

4. yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people she thinks its a twinkie lmao xd

5. Your mamma’s so fat the aliens call her their mother ship

6. Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

7. Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10…
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!

8. YO MAMA SO FAT, NASA USED HER STOMACH TO JUMP TO URANUS IN SECONDS.

9. Yo mama so fat she sunk the titanic

10. Yo mama’s so fat her blood type is coca-cola


One linear Fat Jokes

1. Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadow stepped her and got a loading screen.

2. Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.

3. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.

4. Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lector couldn’t eat her up

5. Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack

6. your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her

7. What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill? A fat nun

8. Yo mama so fat when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

9. YOUR MAMA SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE WENT TO MCDONALDS THEY SAID, “sorry you’ve had enough mam”

10. Yo mama’s so fat, she works in the movie theatre as a screen.

11. yo mama is so fat that she put a yellow dress people called a taxi.

12. Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk she made an earthquake!!!

13. Yo mama so FAT, she can’t handle files bigger than 4 GB.

14. your momma so fat when she stepped on the weighing scales her phone number came up!


Best Yo mama Fat Jokes


1. yo mama so fat thanos had to clap

2. yo mama so fat she id fat

3. Yo mama so fat that when she attempted Auicide she bounced to Area 51.

4. Yo mama is so fat it took Nation Wide 15 years to get on her side.

5. yo mama is so fat she has her own personal gravity

6. Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

7. Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

8. yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

9. Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

10. Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

11. Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said-- To be continued

12. your mamas so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus

13. Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

14. yo mama so fat she went swimmimg with the whales and sang weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!

15. Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven…

16. Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

17. Your mom’s so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.

18. Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, “We can’t fix that!”

19. Yo mama so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.

20. Yo mama so fat she wears orions belt

21. Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus

22. Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

23. Your mama is so fat when she went camping the Bears hid their food from her

24. Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington’s nose.

25. yo momma so fat that when she crossed the road people mistook her for a roundabout.

26. Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.

27. yo mama so fat that she broke your computer.
lol

28. your momma is so fat, she can’t even go skinny dipping.

29. Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

30. Yo mama so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla



Funny Yo Mama Fat Jokes


1. Your mom ma so fat she won’t be in a coffin when she dies she won’t fit in it

2. Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.

3. Yo mama so fat she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned

4. Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***

5. Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

6. Yo momma so fat her 4 kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.

7. Yo mama so fat! when she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!!!

8. Yo mama is so fat she couldn’t even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.

9. your mum is so fat when she sat in a monster truck it turned into a lowrider

10. Yo mama so fat, she doesn’t need the internet, because she’s already WORLDWIDE!!

11. yo mama so fat it took nationwide three years to get on her good side

12. yo mama is so fat I took a picture of her last year and it is still printing.

13. yo mama so fAt that when she walked past the TV you missed 3 episodes of your favourite show.

14. Your mom is so fat every time she turns around it's her birthday

15. Yo mama so fat she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueling


Awesome Yo Mama Fat Jokes


1. Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod…
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!

2. yo mamas so fat that she doesn’t need internet cause she is already world wide

3. Yo mama so fat that when she sits down global warming starts.

4. your mama so fat when pennywise said “we all float down here” he saw her and suddenly new he was mistaken.

5. your mama is so fat she only nows 3 words KFC

6. Yo mama so fat, she’s the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.

7. Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

8. JOE MOMMA SO FAT WHEN SANTA CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY HE SAID HO HO HOLY CRAP

9. Yo mamma is so FAT, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!

10. Yo mama so fat even dora can’t explore it.

11. Your mom is so fat that she mains heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!!1!!

12. Your moms so fat, when she sat on walmart, she lowered the prices!

13. Your momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.


Short Fat Jokes


1. Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework

2. My doctor told me I was fat
I told him I want a second opinion.
So he told me I’m ugly, too.

3. A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

4. Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”

5. A funny joke scenario Person 1: Why didn’t he skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no “body” to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly fat and nobody liked him

6. Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: “Homework!”

7. according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

8. you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good

9. So a guy walks into gas station and walks to the person working and says “can I have a kitcat chuncky” so she gets him one and then he says “no I want a normal kitcat you fat bitch”.

10. This dude is so fat wearing the same damn clothes everyday. Everytime he turn around it’s his graduation day he forgot to put a boomerang on his pants cause they don’t even fit no more.last time I saw him coming down the street it was in a bucket of popeye"s chicken extra crispy.


11. How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant ain’t no telling who" in better shape the elephant or the woman i guess it’s probably weight watchers.

12. Hey I got some dominos pizza salad breadsticks and chicken wings for everyone yeah but make sure ms Mandingo gorilla don’t eat all up because if she do I’m going have to shove it up her fur.

13. My “overweight” friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?
Me: annoyedJason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you’re weight not you’re phone number


Long Fat Jokes


1. A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” 
The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.”
Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

2. every time I come in the kitchen my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food like the fried chicken the mashed potatoes the collard greens mac and cheese and the corn bread. Then i said i wanna eat some of that shit i love soul food then i told her you keep it up your fat ass is going to big like house on a haunted hill.

3. A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler’s mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

4. So in class they were learning about where food comes from: 
Teacher- so kids where does bacon come from? 
Student- PIGS 
Teacher- correct where does mutton come from? 
Student- SHEEP 
teacher- and finally here’s your homework-
 student- IK where that comes from!
 A FAT COW!

5. One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

6. I just a had a birthday party last week at my crib i invited two fine beautiful looking women one was skinny and her was kelly and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita both of them came by i told Chiquita only kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday you can’t you too fat and clumsy and i don’t have any food or drinks for you so see ya later nutty professor.

7. According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.
That girl was hot.
She’s my cousin!

8. According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
Barry?
Adam?
Oan you believe this is happening?
I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I’m excited.
Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B’s.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
You got lint on your fuzz.
Ow! That’s me!
Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!


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