JokesBoy

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye. “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee. “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly. “Yes, I do,” she replies.

“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car ?” “Yes, I remember,” says the wife. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years!” “I remember that, too,” she replies softly. The husband wipes another tear from his cheek… “I’m a freeman now!”

John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a
kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sold 1 kg packets of
butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he’d go ask his
manager what to do.

John walked into the back room and said, “There`s a bloody fellow out
there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter.” As he finished
saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind
him, so he added, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half.”

The manager finished the deal and later said to John, “You almost got
yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed
with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I
like it a lot. Which place are you from?

John replied, “I’m from Mexico, sir.”

“Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico?” asked the manager.

John replied, “They’re all just prostitutes and soccer players
up there.”

“My wife is from Mexico,” the manager said.

John replied, “Which team did she play for?”

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.” Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?” Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.” Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, “Okay then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Jenny.” Again, Johnny instantly replies, “Our allowance.. Jenny makes 20 bucks a week and I make 40 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won’t have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, “Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?” Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says “Well, we’ve been lucky so far…”
Mr. Smith fainted..

Types of computer viruses

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we’re not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer’s involvement in other computer’s affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
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Today is 1st April and no other day can be good for starting a blog on jokes! I can remember my school days when everyone used to try to make fool and then shout April fool. We used to make pranks and just anything to have a good laugh. To bring those days of laughter back, I’ll be posting great jokes specially chosen to make you laugh from all over the internet. Laughing is good for health, so if you are a first time visitor of this blog, bookmark it and visit it daily for a good dose of laughter.