JokesBoy

During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:

Raman: Narain, I’ve been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.

Narayan: oh!

Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?

Narayan: No

Raman: He’s the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.

The next day, the same discussion took place:

Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?

Narayan: No

Raman: He’s the author of “The 3 Musketeers”, if you take night courses, you would know this.

The next day, once again:

Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?

Narayan: No

Raman: He’s the author of “Confessions”, if you take night courses, you would know this.

This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?

Raman: No

Narayan: He’s the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

“Oh my GOD!” screamed the woman. “That’s disgraceful! Why is he doing that?”

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, “I’m very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn’t do that at least five times a day, he’ll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture.”

“Oh, well in that case, I guess it’s okay,” said the woman.

As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

Again, the woman screamed, “Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?”

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: “Same illness, better health plan.”

Manager of a Retail store in US asks: “Do you have any sales experience?”
The Indian says: “Sir, I was a salesman back home in India.”

Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. “You
start tomorrow.. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
“How many sales did you make today?”

Indian boy says: “Sir, Just ONE sale.”

The boss says: “Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day.” If you want to keep this job, you’d
better be doing better than just one sale.

By the way, how much was the sale for?”

Indian boy says: ” $101 237. 64″

Boss says: “$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?”

Indian boy says: “Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I ask him where he’s going fishing and he said down on the
coast, so
I told him he’ll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating
department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him
down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.

I then ask him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no
accommodation,
I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo
6 sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about $100
worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: “You’re not serious? A guy came in here to buy a
fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?”

Indian boy says: “No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for
his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your
mind.”

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, ” We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.”

“Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment.”

Then the leader said to the group, “What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?”

A gentleman said, ” I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.”

“Very good!” ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, “I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.”

“That’s wonderful!” the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, “I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks.”

Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, “Why your mother-in-laws home?”

Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, “Because, that would be the longest 4 weeks of my life!”

Professor Santa called a plumber to his college. You know why ? …….. Just to check from where question paper was leaking!!

Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane.

One guy says to the other, “Let’s talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, “What would you like to discuss?”

The first guy says, “Oh, I don’t know; how about nuclear power?”

The other guy says, “OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first:

“A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?”

The first guy says, “I don’t know.”

The other guy says, “Oh? Well then, do you really think you’re qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don’t know $h!t?”