JokesBoy

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. “Why all the attention?” the friend asked, “You look fine to me.”

“I know!” grinned the patient. “But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches.”

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. “I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today.

You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.” The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. “I’m a cop”, says the first man. “Then we will shoot your penis off!”, said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. “I’m a firemen”, said the second man. “Then we will burn your penis off!”, said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, “And you, what do you do for a living?” And the third man answered, with a sly grin, “I’m a lollipop salesman!”

A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn’t having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, socializing with important clients. As the woman walked into her house, she found Jervis by himself in the dining room. She called him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom.

She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew he must obey, “Jervis, I want you to take off my dress.” This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair.

“Jervis,” she continued, “now take off my stockings and garter belt.” Again, Jervis silently obeyed.

“Now, Jervis, I want you to remove my bra and panties.” Eyes downcast, Jervis obeyed. Both were breathing heavily, the tension mounting between them.

She looked sternly at him and said, “Jervis, if I ever catch you wearing my stuff again, you’re fired!”

What were you thinking?

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.

She read, “…and so the pig went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw and said, “Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?”

The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that man said?”

One little boy raised his hand and said, “I think he said ‘Holy $h!t A talking pig!’”

The teacher fainted.

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is
www.whorepresents.com/ (whore-presents)

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange Advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com/ (expert-sex-change)

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net/ (penis-land)

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com/ (the-rapist-finder)

5. There’s the Italian Power Generator company,
www.powergenitalia.com/ (power-genitalia)

6. And don’t forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales,
www.molestationnursery.com/ (molestation-nursery)

7. If you’re looking for IP computer software, there?s always
www.ipanywhere.com/ (I-pee-anywhere)

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is
www.cummingfirst.com/ (cumming-first)

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site,
www.speedofart.com/ (speed-fart)

10. The Web Ad Helper online advertising company, helping small business find more customers.
www.webadhelper.com/ (we-bad-helper)

There were three guys that won a contest. They would get to spend a year in a room with anything they chose. The first guy loves to have sex. So they put him in a room for a year with over 200 girls to have sex with for a year. The second guy loved to get drunk. So they put him in a room with every beer there ever was to drink for a year. The third guy loved to smoke. So they put him in a room with every kind of cigarette there was to smoke. Two hours later they hear the guy that loved to smoke banging on the door but they say f*ck him, he’s in there for a year.

A year later they let them out. They first guy came out and he could barely walk, after how many times he had sex. The second guy came out and couldn’t walk because he was so drunk. The third guy came out crying. They asked him why he was banging on the door and why he was crying. He said, ” I forgot my lighter!”

This is really creative advertising, at least people will remember the brand always.