JokesBoy

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I’m here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.” The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. “Oh, no,” he says, “Everyone’s fine. I’ve just quit drinking.”

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about your hook”? “Well”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”

“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch”? “A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?,” the sailor asked incredulously. “Well,” said the pirate, “it was my first day with my hook”

A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of himself on the blackboard.

Fuming, he asked the class joker in the front row, “Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?”

The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply, “I really don’t know, but I strongly suspect its parents.”

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied.

“You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?” “Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?”

I found an online store of rugs today and they had an amazing collection of all types of rugs. Now even better news is that they are doing a clearance sale which means you get heavy discount. Cheap Rugs always a good buy if you are buying them from reputed store like superiorrugs.com because after all, these rugs are going to be put on floor and we are going to walk over them. Rugs are a very good decorative item to have in room, it give a totally different look to room. However while buying rugs, you should take some time deciding which one to buy and most important factor is color. The color of rug should blend with most prominent color in the room or it should be in contrast with the color of walls of room. Design is fully a matter of personal taste. I personally like dark colored rugs with velvet texture and simple patterns of design on them. Benefit of buying rugs at online store is that you can see each and every type of rug within few minutes and compare them which are not possible at store. If you keep on asking shopkeeper for showing more and more verities, he will think that you are only wasting time and not going to but any stuff and only wasting time while at online store, you can look at your convenience and as many times as you want before buying and there is no one to make bad face if you don’t buy after looking for hours. Area rugs for example are quite large rugs and finding all varies at one shop is not possible so people end up buying whatever they find on shop. My opinion is when you are spending money on some item; you should be getting full value of money and a product of your choice, not something you have to buy by making lots of compromises.