JokesBoy

Some nice Dear girls from dearblankpleaseblank.com:

Dear girls,
Please realize that clothing printed with the word “sexy” does not increase your sexiness in any way whatsoever.
Sincerely, you’re a walking oxymoron.

Dear daughter,
Nice dress. Where’s the other half?
Sincerely, Dad.

Dear middle school girl who thinks she’s a Victoria’s Secret model,
Mind if I borrow a tissue?
Sincerely, it’s falling out of your bra.

Dear hot girls,
Please become sex offenders and move to my neighborhood.
Sincerely, a boy.

Dear girlfriend,
Please don’t make your status about us having sex and then tag me in it.
Sincerely, my mom just commented.

Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?

”

Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”

Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Let’s try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”

Soldier: “No, sir!”

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle in England. “How did you enjoy it?” the guide asked when it was over. “It was great,” the girl replied, “but I was afraid I was going to see a ghost in some of those dark passageways.”

“No need to worry,” said the guide. “I’ve never seen a ghost in all the time I’ve been here.”

“How long is that?” she asked.

“Oh, about 300 years.”