The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.
“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.
“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied.
“You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”
A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?” “Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?”
I found an online store of rugs today and they had an amazing collection of all types of rugs. Now even better news is that they are doing a clearance sale which means you get heavy discount. Cheap Rugs always a good buy if you are buying them from reputed store like superiorrugs.com because after all, these rugs are going to be put on floor and we are going to walk over them. Rugs are a very good decorative item to have in room, it give a totally different look to room. However while buying rugs, you should take some time deciding which one to buy and most important factor is color. The color of rug should blend with most prominent color in the room or it should be in contrast with the color of walls of room. Design is fully a matter of personal taste. I personally like dark colored rugs with velvet texture and simple patterns of design on them. Benefit of buying rugs at online store is that you can see each and every type of rug within few minutes and compare them which are not possible at store. If you keep on asking shopkeeper for showing more and more verities, he will think that you are only wasting time and not going to but any stuff and only wasting time while at online store, you can look at your convenience and as many times as you want before buying and there is no one to make bad face if you don’t buy after looking for hours. Area rugs for example are quite large rugs and finding all varies at one shop is not possible so people end up buying whatever they find on shop. My opinion is when you are spending money on some item; you should be getting full value of money and a product of your choice, not something you have to buy by making lots of compromises.
There was a young couple, very much in love, who the night before they were to be married, were both tragically killed in an automobile accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, “St. Peter, my fiance and I are very happy to be in heaven but we miss very much the opportunity to have celebrated our wedding vows. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?”
St. Peter looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I’m afraid you’ll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment for two weeks from Wednesday.”
Come the appointed day, the couple were escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeat the request. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, “I tell you what, wait five years and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again.”
Well five years went by, and the couple still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again the Lord God Almighty said, “Please you must wait another five years and then I will consider your request.”
Finally, they come before the Lord God Almighty the third time, ten years after their first request, and ask the Lord again. This time the Lord answered, “Yes, you may marry. This Saturday at 2:00 p.m., we will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!”
The wedding went beautifully, all the guests thought the bride was beautiful. Moses brought some flowers from the Nile River Delta and Ghandi came wearing his finest hand-woven sari. But, you guessed it, the couple was married but a few weeks when they realized they had made a horrible mistake, they just couldn’t stay married to one another.
So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty, this time to ask if they could get a divorce in heaven. When the Lord heard their request, he looked at them and said, “Look, it took us ten years to find a priest up here in heaven; do you have any idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer?”