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Long Speech

A CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a tight, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.

“What’s the idea in writing me an hour-long speech?” he demanded. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.”

Jenkins was baffled. “I wrote you a 20-minute speech,” he replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”

Selling Skills

Manager of a Retail store in US asks: “Do you have any sales experience?”
The Indian says: “Sir, I was a salesman back home in India.”

Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. “You
start tomorrow.. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
“How many sales did you make today?”

Indian boy says: “Sir, Just ONE sale.”

The boss says: “Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day.” If you want to keep this job, you’d
better be doing better than just one sale.

By the way, how much was the sale for?”

Indian boy says: ” $101 237. 64″

Boss says: “$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?”

Indian boy says: “Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I ask him where he’s going fishing and he said down on the
coast, so
I told him he’ll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating
department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him
down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.

I then ask him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no
accommodation,
I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo
6 sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about $100
worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: “You’re not serious? A guy came in here to buy a
fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?”

Indian boy says: “No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for
his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your
mind.”

Pregnant lady

A four year old little boy was at the doctor’s office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room. Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and inquisitively asks “Why is your stomach so big?”

She replied, “Im having a baby.” With big eyes, he replied, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.”

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, “Is it a good baby?” She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.” At this point the woman is thinking the little boy is incredibly cute and looks foward to what he has to say next…

And, much to her suprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asks. “Then why did you eat him?”

A Sad News

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

Little Johnny during meals

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!

Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?

Johnny: It’s because I saw one on daddy’s lettuce, but now it’s gone.