JokesBoy

What is the similarity between cars and women?

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To look good, they both need to be Waxed!

Some nice Dear girls from dearblankpleaseblank.com:

Dear girls,
Please realize that clothing printed with the word “sexy” does not increase your sexiness in any way whatsoever.
Sincerely, you’re a walking oxymoron.

Dear daughter,
Nice dress. Where’s the other half?
Sincerely, Dad.

Dear middle school girl who thinks she’s a Victoria’s Secret model,
Mind if I borrow a tissue?
Sincerely, it’s falling out of your bra.

Dear hot girls,
Please become sex offenders and move to my neighborhood.
Sincerely, a boy.

Dear girlfriend,
Please don’t make your status about us having sex and then tag me in it.
Sincerely, my mom just commented.

Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?

”

Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”

Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Let’s try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”

Soldier: “No, sir!”

Why did God create MEN???

Because neither Fingers, Candles, Bananas, Carrots, nor Cucumbers can pay for SHOPPING!